If you’re thinking about reaching out to connect with a helpful professional, you’re not alone. Each year, millions of people seek help to find relief for stress, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, parenting support, eating disorders and specific diagnoses such as ADHD, Asperger’s, or bipolar disorder.
Reaching out, whether it be through an online forum or support group, working individually with a therapist/counselor, or talking to your physician can seem a little nerve-wracking. That’s actually normal, especially if you don’t know what to expect. Many people actually find a great deal of relief once they reach out to get the process started!
Whether you’re thinking about getting started, or you’ve just started the process, these five simple hints will help to make your experience a successful one!
1. Be Comfortable and Connected with the Professional You Choose
Did you know that over and over, studies show that it’s not so much about the technique used by the therapist, but the connection between you and your therapist? It’s important to feel like the person you are working with is mindful of your experiences and beliefs. You need to feel as though they have a good grasp on your concerns and are working towards your needs, not a pre-designed one-size fits all method they use for everyone.
It is also important for you to feel as though you can be yourself around them. Being yourself means that you’ll share more, and that gives them the information they need to really be able to help you.
To help you get a grasp on your comfort level with them, some professionals offer consultations to let you get to know them a little better before you begin working together.
2. Be Active with Assignments
The second major factor that can hinder changes from happening is only working on the problems during the sessions with the therapist. It’s understandable to be that way- when you’ve tried to discuss things on your own, it hasn’t worked the way you had hoped. However, the goal is for the clients to feel a different and to make progress. Thinking about things outside of the sessions will help make the sessions more successful. Write down things that come to your mind between sessions. Don’t be afraid to ask questions during your sessions, like “Why do we keep talking about this?”
While not all therapists give “homework,” they may ask you to jot something down or to think about a specific instance. Coming to sessions prepared will also help you feel and see the difference sooner.
3. Be Committed to the Process
You’re probably thinking, “I’m already committed to my spouse/child/family/etc. If not, I wouldn’t be here.” The other part of you may be thinking if something doesn’t change, then you will need to “be committed” to a hospital. There’s an old fable (some may call it a joke) about a pig and chicken who want to go into a restaurant business together. The chicken thinks they should serve bacon and eggs…and understandably, the pig has reservations. While the chicken is contributing, the pig is totally committed to that venture. What is your motivation for therapy? Do you relate to the pig or the chicken?
4. Be Patient with the Process.
While patience may be a virtue, it is definitely in short supply in a time when we can download information in seconds and have food ready in minutes. The therapist is “joining” your situation and it will take some time to not only bring them up to speed, but for each party to feel like they’ve had a chance to get out their side of the story. To you, this is old news and it can feel like a waste of time. However, if everyone involved doesn’t feel like they’ve had a fair chance to share and they don’t feel like the therapist understands them, it can hinder the process. Most of the time this part of the process can take place in less than 3-4 sessions, depending on the nature of the problem and how cooperative family members are in the process.
Most therapeutic work can be completed within 8-12 sessions. If you come weekly, you’re looking at 2-6 months to see the changes set in. Then you can move to a “check-up” like your yearly physical with your doctor, just to help keep things on track before they veer off course again.
5. Be Ready to Ask Questions.
If you are not comfortable or don’t understand what’s happening in your therapy session, ask! Therapists are happy to answer your questions and see your willingness to inquire why you’re doing something as being an active participant. Even during the first call when you’re arranging a time for the first session, come prepared with a list of questions. This will help you to have more trust and comfort with them, and will help make the experience better when you feel like you are a part of the experience.
Tammy Whitten is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Family Life Educator. When her friends and family members call her to get insight on what to look for in choosing a therapist, she shares these same five tips with them. Her down-to-earth approach with her clients helps them to feel at ease so they move forward to make the changes they need in a comfortable, supportive environment. It is her desire that those seeking therapy connect to the best person to help them in their journey.